Nothing Peripheral: A Sight Impaired Artist: In Memory of Ben Paige

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

In Memory of Ben Paige

“Looking at Death”, Benjamin Paige with SWPC members, 2003

Yesterday I learned Ben Paige had passed away after a long illness.

Ben was with the Seeing With Photography Collective for many years. He was a determined photographer who was an inspiration. Ben created many memorable and wonderful images, despite his total blindness. Ben sometimes showed up tired -but full of ideas and enough energy to work, even though earlier in the day, he had to undergo kidney dialysis. You can experience some of Ben's work here...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seeingwithphotography/sets/72157613359234342/

Read Ben's own words as he relates his experiences with our art group. I interviewed Ben in 2006. "Italics " are my own words.

Ben Paige...

With my work, I want to do something different from the ordinary picture. In my mind I try to think of something real odd or weird...so that when people look at my pictures they have to stop and they'll say, its eye catching. I'll do a head on a chair or heads missing, somebody's head turned backwards or anything that’s scary. That’s what my whole thing is about. The people I work with are all sighted...they used to tiptoe cause I’m blind, they were scared to say anything to me...until they got to know me, then we joked around...then they got so shocked when I told them I did photography, that's what really floored them...so when I showed them the pictures, that'when they got shocked!, that you can make pictures like this. It’s unbelievable. I proved to them what blind people can do...other wise they didn't know, that we can do just like any other people can do. You don't have to see to do everything, even though they work in X-Ray in the dark, so they understand that. I wish I could see these pictures, from the way people describe them to me. I got it in my mind. When I first came here I didn't know myself, blind people could take pictures...In the beginning I got a lot of my stuff from Vicky, how she takes pictures...When I get prints...you get a different impression from everyone, that’s why the prints are good, to prove what I did, cause you can talk about it...but seeing is believing!

You said something to me once...that when you felt somebody’s face, it wasn't a good way of knowing what they're all about? ... I feel that is more of what you see in a movie, that's what a movie wants - to make a blind person seem like he can't tell nothing about a person unless he is feeling all over their face...to me it’s not true. How am I going to tell you what they really look like? Personally, I don't like feeling people’s faces. Period. It's too “blindness" for me, I'm blind already, I don't want to act more blind. A lot of blind people never turn the light on...I turn my light on every night. I don't want to be in the house in the dark, even though I can't see the light.

Tell me about the staged murder scenes? When I have people looking through the window, its like peeking through and discover something you shouldn't be discovering, you see this murder scene that they never expect to see...You see them with their mouths open, in shock!, the stranger, the better. Different from what other people would. My best pictures come when I think about them during the week, not just when I'm walking into the room. They pop into my head, I plan it more. If I walk in...I'm guessing more or less, what ever comes, then you do.

Looking at your pictures, one thing I think about is, loosing your eyesight is a scary thing too. Yeah, sort of scary. Why I say it like that is because I've been around blind people a lot. I went to the School for the Blind when I had bad eyesight...I could handle it...deep down inside, maybe I was scared, so I'm doing it through the pictures. I don't know.

How do you feel about working spontaneously? I don't get my best results that way. I did a picture like that of this girl that was in the group. I wanted her head turned backwards...Another one came out very well, with the house and the cross. Why do you think that picture was good? I can't say why, we just threw everything together. Sometimes your just lucky...sometimes when you least expect it, it comes out wonderful.

A lot of my pictures are kind of hard, a big production it takes a lot of time, it’s a big ordeal almost. Its not that I want to, just they come into my mind that way.

How is it doing the lighting? The challenge is to know how long to light, and to get it right...the first time...that's the thrill, I thrive on that! I'm like Vicky when it comes to that. How do you work with volunteers? They're very good cause they do what you tell them to do...they give their opinion, if it’s good or not, sometimes you have an idea but it isn't practical. What do you think about trusting someone else’s visual judgment? Let's put it this way, I have to trust them cause I have no other choice, when you’re blind, you have to go on what somebody tells you. You have an idea in your head what it’s supposed to look like, but it may not come that way. When I did that hospital scene it got me sort of annoyed because they told me it was good, then when I wanted to get a print of it Mark said it was not good. Things like that are confusing. I was happy, and when we were talking about printing, Mark said it’s not such a good picture, too much whatever, but to me, you should have said it wasn't good from the beginning. Tell me. I'm going on – “It’s good.” That brings into question what people mean when they say "good” it might mean one thing to one person and another thing to another. You can't tell me its good and turn around and tell me it’s not good.

Years ago when you could see, did any pictures influence or make an impact on you? No, I wasn't much of an artist. I’d take a few pictures. it was no big deal...some people, like Fred, can tell you what color the costume was, I could never do that I never could...if you asked me the colors were, I can't remember all that. I love the way Fred describes something...Even when I had good sight I could never say...what that person looked like, if I had to describe somebody, forget about it, even if I saw you.

Since you never remembered visual things much when you saw, and you are making pictures now, are your pictures more concerned with ideas than images? My idea is more important because it’s getting the point across, the point I want to get across. The idea of the subway scene ...I had an idea, told them how I wanted it set up, but we didn't get it, but see, you don't always get what you want, but I also saw the idea in my mind too...I'll picture what it is supposed to be like...I never went to a museum or was into Art. I am sorry I wasn't...I regret it now, as I'm older I see how I'm interested in it. ♦

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Welcome

"Nothing Peripheral" is essentially an art blog, a journal of images and wotds shuffling back and forth in time. I'm not dutiful to regular or timely posting so, there are kind of large gaps, but whenever I make imagery I just have to show, it'll get here.

Many light paintings are on these pages as well as some writing. Since most of my work now is created using the "light painting" technique of photography a quick definition can explain the photographs you see. A light painting is a long exposure photo putting the camera on a sturdy tripod and in a very dark room or other space. The shutter is left open and the photographer uses a flashlight to paint their subject over a lengthy time period.

Visual artists who have very diminished sight or who are totally blind, are expanding the rich and varied facets of art even further now and I'm fortunate to be a part.

Since so much of my work now is created using the light painting technique, a quick definition could be helpful. Basically a camera is on a steady tripod and in a very dark room or space the shutter is left open and the artists subject is painted with the light shining from a flashlight.

I began light painting in 1997 with the Seeing With Photography Collective here in New Yprk City.

Contact me eonradius@yahoo.com

At the Light Painting World Alliance websites, you'll find the phrase “Night is Canvas” . Night is no ordinary word for me, I suffer from night blindness. It's a powerful, often frightening word, separating me from the able bodied, putting me in the folder labelled "Unable"- legally blind, asking for help to cross the street. Night, and its draining, light-less hardships, needn’t be only that. After all, the other part, “canvas” is what matters more in the end.

I belong to a group of photographers based in New York City called the seeing With photography Collective. Many in our art group are blind or sight impaired, like myself. We create and exhibit light paintings.

The very nature of our visual limitations can provoke any viewer or perceiver of these images...Is less, more? What is seeing?

Night is often our permanent reality too, as sightless people. I myself am nearly blind, but see a little too, now and then, so I stand in two realms. Every cast shadow, each building entrance, robs me of sight.

I'm desperate for light really, any light, any scrap of stray, ineffectual photon, I feel the desperation -my dying retinas ravenous to see, like an emaciated, skeletal dog will gnaw and scour the air off the alley.

From the context of blindness, the word “ light” glows with particular, symbolism beyond its physical nature. It glows with reflected and diming echoes morphing with sighs and regrets at its intolerable loss, its hopes, its whispered paradises....of incandescent agility and certainty. Light's abandonment lingers like afterglow, we swallow hard, loosing spectacle, comparison, choice and pleasure.

To speak of light, we speak of its opposite nature too, embedded and not apparent. A dual part barely recognized, yet always there lurking, frowning and nodding within - the dark.

Our group originated from a photography class for blind and sight impaired students. Mark Andres, our teacher, taught us the technique of light painting in 1997. Mark was interested to learn what we would make of the technique as it involves using the mind in a place where we all were equally in the dark. It wasn’t about capturing a decisive moment, as much as constructing something. There was resonance with the technique, and we as a group, haven't put down our flashlights yet.

There are a variety of people who shoot light paintings but can't see. Some have little background in photography or any visual art media, some enjoyed photography for the usual reasons before loosing their eyesight. Others were actively involved in serious image making for a very long time, and found there an artistic outlet to explore.

Some in our group see nothing, though many have some remaining, but minimal vision. A few see well, even what's termed “normally”.

When I was told there was an actual photography class for blind and sight impaired students back in 1993, I remember I was surprised, a little sceptical, but beaming with happiness because others had understood that making visual art and not seeing were not mutually exclusive. I felt like a connection was made between two threads that had been re- attached. Two electric wires that needed to join, finally did in that bland basement classroom at the VISIONS Blind Services Organization, where we work.

At first it sounds improbable, but just at first. Like some new rhythm, some unfamiliar but absorbing thing.

Memories play a part in our group's imagery, but they aren’t the sole theme by any means.

Sunshine and faces, that funny red chair, costumes, picnics and monsters, movies and night clubs, cartoons and sports events, ancient frescoes and scary subway rides, and countless other memories of the world of light, all reform before our flashlights.

Despite sight loss we all have memory and ideas to explore in our mind's eye long after our biological eyes give up on the act and art of looking.

We re- create them again, different maybe, not duplicates, not snapshots, but works that bring out that memory or theme with the perspectives all shifted, energized, sparkling.

The light painter's dark frame invites all photographers to come and illuminate. I think it must be hard for any photographer to resist the urge to try one given the chance. Its darkness is very familiar territory, our default color, our resigned dark velvet blindfold that we can't tear away. We run our hands around the frameed out scene, through the central spaces, feeling fringes and walls,,touching whats on the other side of the camera’s viewAnd shine our little flashlights on that night canvas, painting with light...quivering fabrics shaken and moved around firey beings amid Interstellar jewels.

The light paintings aren't made quickly, they take a few minutes and our models shift a little, droop a little over time. The laughs ensue at the results, three eyes, squashed noses, pinheads, people morphed into squat statuettes and ghostly elfs.

Mostly its a collaborative effort when we work, but more experienced artists can work independently too. And focusing? That’s done by a sighted assistant but does a film director focus their own motion picture cameras? The minor things like focusing are a different story from the major things like ideas, composition and lighting, that are done by the sightless, sighted, or sight impaired photographer.

None of this is surprising of course, as a visual artist I understand it.

The blind photographers will also direct where each person, object or background area is, and how all should be positioned, so again, the creative control is left to the photographer, the sighted assistant just letting them know things like what's in, or not in the camera's frame.

There's struggle, there's the battle against the dark. I sense this in our work, but, maybe it’s my own internal projection. We light-less, enact on some level, a very core, very primal encounter that's a universal archetype - the struggle of light over dark. It's mainly subconscious and maybe not fully realized, even by we who make the work,. Archetypes can work well as form, as far as art goes, I think.

And there's defiance in that frame too - the flashlight as weapon in this effort, this determination to hold on, and not go quietly into the darkness.

Some have said our imagery can be nightmarish or sad, and that's sometimes so.

Yet there's an enorous variety of themes and styles found among our member's work, fashionable runway stylizations, Biblical tableaux, happy partying and old Master re-enactments are all here, cheerfully hued, non angst- ridden enough to be hung comfortably above a living room sofa.

Comparing our group's work with other light paintings, I see a difference but I’m not sure what it is. I don't see us as being fixated on pretty lights or special effects, just for the sake of prettiness or coolness that you forget a minute later. They seem simpler, but still visually nuanced and raw simultaneously.

We sometimes teach workshops and I recall some photographers who had a difficult time letting go of their light meter mind -set, and stared at me in sceptical disapproval when I said the timing was a matter of experience. It was sort of fun being a guy with a white blind cane walking into things, and giving lessons on how to make photographs. You get used to these sorts of things really.

In a way taking images with out seeing is a significant reorganization of expectations.

A blindfold can work great as a teaching tool. We use them with the sighted students. Many really are thrilled to be blindfolded, and smile, and grope around, saying “Wow” and getting goose -bumps feeling things, and just delving into their other senses that are mainly ignored in the photography studio. But other photographers have quite a hard time letting go.

By deliberately shutting out light itself, and briefly inviting in the harrowing, dreadful fear of any visual artist, blindfolding touches on certain elements of psychology and creativity that are good to be aware of.

Donald Martinez, a sighted member of our collective, sometimes closes his eyes when he makes a light painting, to distance himself further from the tightness, the crispness and control, the domination of light upon the mind.

Human nature doesn't want to relinquish feedback from our efforts, our ears from our music, our taste from our cooking, yet some can never have the full visual assessment of their work that eyes provide.

How does the blind photographer know what they have made? Those who can see describe, and become the eyes ...providing the scope, the tone, and narrative that will form the structure of the new creation, glowing unseen on the camera's digital screen and glowing too in a different way, in the internal mind of the unseeing artist.

Lately the work of blind and sight impaired visual artists is becoming more widely known. It’s a new facet in the cultural legacy of art.

What do we have to offer the world of light? Maybe we can act as a sort of mirror. One that reflects your views, maybe shifting and nudging cozy presumptions.

I've no confident theory to pre

sent on the nature of blind photography. For me, and many in the Seeing With Photography Collective, it’s an experience to be lived, dim and flickering sometimes, loud and warm at others.

Without light... voices take on an expansive, rich meaning. Ideas loom more directly. There's less distraction by visual clutter. Working in the dark with my group causes me no gut-churning dread, no dizzying loss.

Something memorable happens creating imagery in the dark, with the dark, the dark as our supportive friend, all of us sighted or blind together, thinking, trying, laughing, describing, listening...weaving something.

Light is essentially indifferent, angled into the lens of an eye or cold camera, we give it meaning and arrange its context. In the intertwining of sighted and not sighted, one thread describing another, eventually we all must close our eyes in sleep, lightless sighted and blind alike, and all our dreaming eyes understand and gaze, and see.

IGHT IS CANVAS

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

In Memory of Ben Paige

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